#YesAllWomen

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#YesAllWomen

Because all women have walked to their car in the dark, keys clutched tight in hand, one poking out between two fingers.

Because when I go out to bars or clubs, I have to think about whether what I’m wearing is too suggestive, instead of putting on whatever I please.

Because I feel the need to apologize when I’m not wearing makeup or my hair hasn’t been washed, or when I’m generally looking anything other than flawless.

Because there was nothing I could do about the man who touched me inappropriately in the middle of Gillette Stadium as I waited for my then-boyfriend to come out of the bathroom. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STADIUM.

Because there was also nothing I could do when a man touched me inappropriately in the middle of a crowded street, his arm around his girlfriend. Because retaliating in the way I wanted to…

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Hope!

Hope is one the best attributes of me. Even when things go down, I can still hold my head high, thanks to hope! When things look not so bright and scare me about the future, I still cling onto hope! When road ahead looks troublesome but a needed pathway to accomplish smth, I still hold hands with hope! I pretty much tell my self ‘never mind’ when things go wrong as there is always hope by my side.

Yes there is hope mainly but some silent characters like positivity, faith and a thrill to make it.

However there are certain moments where I am losing on hope and being engulfed with negativity and sorrow. I kick hard but I don’t know how to swim. Many a times a rope of hope rescues me through this quicksand but still its a terrible feeling to be in one. The fear in me attracts sorrow and hopelessness, dislike it!

I wish to never lose hope because it always gives me a reason to smile, strength to face the not-so-welcome times and yet stay focused. I really wish not to lose hope as I would lose myself with it too, it makes a big part of me. I hope hope doesn’t leave me and go for smiling would be an exercise then 🙂

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Nude platform heels obsession

And there my reflection is shining bright in the mirror, 170 cm tall, slim girl with fair complexion and almond Brown eyes, wearing a short white dress, brown eye-liner, a smile lit with light pink lips, lighter shade of pink for cheeks, diamond studs for ear rings, dark brown hair tied into a loose bun, a nude clutch in my hands and my new nude platform heels!!

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I think how amazing does Mehek look with such little effort hmmmm.

“Mehek! MEHEK! Ajj uthengi ki kal’, and the voice becomes more fierce “get up NOW!” and there goes the air-conditioning and a moment later… my blanket. “Mom, I was having such a nice dream about my new nude platform heels and you woke me up” I say with a grumpy face. “Beta, I think you have become obsessed with those heels, baar sutt deya? Should I throw them out? Get ready soon!” Aaaaaah I just love my mom (saying through gritted teeth) but I do love my mom. My mom is just like how Superwoman plays her mom in her Youtube videos.

 

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After making a quick prayer to have a nice day, I get off my bed and hit the shower while reminding myself that the luxury to sleep till late is now available for just another one week as after that Mehek would be working lady. Yayyyy!

 

Nude Platform Heels

A glossy nude platform heel! Perfect shade… Goes with my skin tone! Aaaaaaaaaaa I want this!! I want this!! I want this!! “Can I have size 37 in this please” to the seller. A plump lady with very fine eyeliner, hmm I wonder how they make it so perfect “37 no have, can try 38” awww “okay, let me try”. They fit perfectly, hugging my feet and yet quite light weight than i had imagined. Oh man! They would be my first platform heels. Smiles looking in the mirror and her reflection smiles back approving the purchase. “MEHEK eh kee purchase kar rahi hai??” “You are starting office tomorrow, not beauty contest… Put them back”. I say “mom pleaseeee I love them besides one should be stylish too these days!!” “You can borrow it for your parties too, its same size as yours!!”, “really! Let me try”. Mom phass gayi, yesss! Five mins later, walking out with my new nude platform heels and imagining work attires to go with it

shaky confidence and pretty bridal dress!

I hope they are plain fears and not a reality I want to ignore,

I hope I will be loved and even more.

I hope he understands intangible meanings and nature of love,

I hope he feels it like I do.

 

I wish to be trusted and believed by him blindly,

I wish he becomes honest as a transparent sheet with me.

I want to be his stone, I want him to give me an opportunity,

I want to be his closest friend, will he let me be?

 

I don’t want to be compared, I want to be special for him,

like he is for me,

I want his eyes to light up and lips to turn in an upward curve when he sees me,

happens to me, does it happen to him? can’t see!

 

Would like to aim for contentment and happiness,

Work at honing ourselves for a better relationship.

Don’t want to blame people or things, don’t want to call names,

Don’t want to fight on petty things, don’t want to lose out on love through fights and please no dictatorship.

 

He empowers me, yet he weakens me,

I wish he could understand how he effects me.

If he could call me his own and treat me so,

with love and understanding.

 

I ask no more, just want to be yours,

In words, in feelings, through struggles with no ceilings.

This nervousness that I feel or are they negative thoughts?

Please understand my plight, don’t fuel this fire anymore.

 

Accept me the way I am, don’t confuse me over and over,

Make me feel like being at the top of the world, like lovers do.

Don’t talk of parting so easily, these thoughts trouble me much,

Dream happier dreams, don’t think of thoughts as such.

 

Please understand you are important to me and I listen to all you say,

May these silences of pain change to be silence of comforts, I pray.

I am switching my world for you, please make it worth it,

Don’t play with my grip so easily, I will be lost.

 

The little girl in me looks at you through these grown eyes,

She feels scared easily, she is stepping into a new terrain all alone.

Our roles are changing and responsibilities are to increase,

Just be with me lovingly, don’t make me feel weird, let all your love be shown.