“How is your fever today and the stomach?”
“It’s better, so sweet of you to ask!”
“How was your day? Had fun in your world civilization class?”
“It was actually good, we learnt about Michael Angelo and his creations. The teacher showed a slideshow … (conversation continues)”
“Lets go out tonight, which cuisine do you prefer?”
“All is okay with me as long as I have not imagined something and set my mind on it, you know me!”
The one asking questions is my friend, always concerned, always thinking of me and showering me with his care and love.
The one replying is me relishing his concern, cherishing his attention and presence and imagining a rosier future.
There are certain figures like that in our lives with whom we connect in a special manner and feel the happiest with our own self . We enjoy thunder rains and hot blazing Sun with them. They are so special and each moment with them passes just too quick to hold on to. So much positivity, hope and mutual dreams float around that one forgets reality and believe in those dreams to be present and the future.
So what happened? Oh just the general… we grew up! and not quite the way we had dreamt of. Today our conversations are more of mere sentences and replies of one word. I really don’t know about his world and because I started feeling so, I shut him out of my world. I don’t know how his day goes or what touches him. He knows nothing about me either. I keep it to myself but I do still want to share everything with him and learn about his days. I try to ask some times, he doesn’t reply much. His reluctance pushes me away, but I do miss him.
We grew up but are still together but not actually together. I lost my friend in him and sometimes I think, he too lost his friend in me which was a reciprocation actually. I don’t know if he misses me? I miss him! I would even be happy to just restart the whole process to be friends again because even though today we are surrounded by only negative vibes when together, there was a day that positive vibes didn’t leave us. Today we end up arguing whenever we talk and our respective ego has become a barrier but I remember days of pure happiness and joy.
I miss our friendship and his companionship. Sometimes I wish to be able to revive time but that cant happen in ‘real’ world so, I wish for us to let go of our negative feelings and embrace the warmth of friendship we feel for each other. I want to spend time with him and find myself wondering how the hours ticked by so fast and not count the minutes. I want to go for those brunches we used to do and spend the day happily. I miss how I happy I used to feel around him. I miss his smiling face.