Luxury of Normalcy!

Normalcy, a luxury? Yes, I believe so. Normalcy is a luxury that is usually looked down on, and cherished when we don’t have it anymore. Just like when someone who loves us, leaves us and then realization of a loss settles in the space that he/she occupied in our lives/ hearts.

I think homes are a luxury when compared to having to live somewhere for more than two weeks (at least). Hotels and resorts sound good and so does travel and other exciting options but, in the end, my toilet pot is the best, and my pillow is just made for my neck.

People who we meet on a normal basis in our daily life and the normal memories we gain with these meetings, strengthen us when we need strength (and weaken us when we feel weak). Because our reference point in any drastic (good or bad) situation is always compared to ‘normal’.

I feel normalcy teaches us ’emotional balance’. Because we know what’s normal thus we can feel excited or sad in a not-normal situation. Normalcy gives a chance to find that middle ground between sadness and excitement and many other emotions. Sometimes even those emotions that we wish not to feel.

With normalcy, I don’t mean being stagnant. Just like our bodies are able to adjust to gradually changing temperatures (and some times drastic), we too evolve in our normalcy. As a toddler, our normal is limited to home and then school, then college and then whatever we choose. We evolve.

I’d say cherish what you have got and where you have got it, for what is normal now is not going to be exact same in future (or at least one can’t guarantee). Rags to riches is always a loved story but riches to rags is painful. We might think others are better off than us in ways important to us, it might even be true, yet there is a certain comfort and perks that our normal brings to us. Let’s cherish these and start working on unread chapter of contentment in our lives. Let’s cherish normalcy, that enables us to feel happy!

In conclusion, everyday, let’s cherish hearts we have found space in, those loved ones’ whose fingers fill the gaps between our fingers, the warmth exuded by our personal VIPs that blanket us to be comfortable in our lives.

Merry Christmas!

 

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This place is a negotiation and bargain haven …

This Asian town that I would like to bring forward to you is internationally equipped with everything one needs. The airport is massive, made of see-through glass with never ending walkways and shopping arenas. People are sweet here and smile through out however, it is the tradition here to smile when happy and even when angry so you can expect being called names with a smile. Everyone here loves fair skin people as they have heavy wallets. They easily discriminate between foreigners and their own. But with a smile, so that is doesn’t pinch the guest of the town.

Food is here usually is extremely spicy but quite cheap. USD1.5 is all it takes for a stomach full of meal. Food is available in abundance at every nook and corner but bigger the restaurant, better the price and perhaps, lesser the quantity. Foreigners might need a handkerchief or mask to cover their face as often food here smells bad for the untrained noses. Shopping here is cheap too, be it be fashion items or tech items however, you cant try clothes before you buy them (i.e. not in branded malls) and tech items you cant refund for when the don’t work (as they are copies). This place is a negotiation and bargain haven but one shouldn’t try any tricks in the opening hour of the shop (its considered bad omen by the locals and will get them very angry, angry enough to not sell you anything at all).

Elders and monks are immensely respected here. Same sex couples are a common sighting yet no law to protect them and give them identity of their own. Our police and military is strong yet late night bike racing is a common sighting. Greenery in the city is picturesque in hotels and parks, otherwise its hardly visible. Getting around the city is not so much of a problem using mass transit train services but a taxi driver might make you reach some place in thirty minutes whereas it might have been just five minutes away. All the roads and sub roads have signs indicating directions so one doesn’t get lost however English font size is one where you need to quint your eyes and read.

There is a lot of history, adventure and scenic places here but foreigners should hurry to visit us as commercialisation is continuously increasing and we cant assure you affordable prices and packages. Our mountaineous regions await you, which are now colder than before. Our beaches await you, which are now dirtier than before.

This is the strange story of my town, all strangers are welcome for an unforgettable experience!

Writing101: ‘Lost & Found’

Today, imagine you work in a place where you manage lost or forgotten items. What might you find in the pile? For those participating in our serial challenge, reflect on the theme of “lost and found,” too.

I work in one of the most dimly lit and quiet cubicles. People only run up to me when they remember that they have forgotten something. All are curious eyed, pleading hands with worry etched on their face. I long to see normal happy people. I flip through another box of ‘lost and found’ items that the cleaning department has sent my way this afternoon. A pink watch with plastic strap and needles ending with silver stars, presumably a teenage girl’s. Next, a USB, well we find at least ten everyday, will keep a check if anyone asks for it. Next, a big plastic case with some sort of album inside. I turn it around to find a note, raising my right eyebrow, I set to read it. ‘If you find it, don’t try returning it. I couldn’t have destroyed it myself thus I thought of simply letting it go’. Okay! This doesn’t happen everyday.

Suddenly I was all alert and quite bit excited. I pulled the album out of its case and started with the first page. Pictures of a boy in his teens: brown eyes, long Black hair, perfectly arched eyebrows, medium built, fair, good looking over all. There are pictures of him grinning, sticking his tongue out (why take such close ups?), playing soccer, standing in front of a home. I flip to the second page, pictures of a pretty girl. Again those close ups and her hugging a basket ball. She has long Black hair, dark Brown eyes, Pink lips, full smile and perfect jawline. Quite pretty.

I glance at the next page. Their pictures holding hands, riding on a horse next to a beach, playing chess and one in school uniforms. On to the next page, I see these kids more grown up now. There are pictures of them having ice cream (cookie & cream it seems like), standing in front of a museum, at a bowling alley and at a temple. The next page is filled with every kind of selfie but what has kept my interest alive in this album, besides the weird note, is their happy faces. Their smiles and chemistry seems quite infectious. They seem quite close in these pictures: hugging, kissing and very comfortable with each other.

The next page has the boys picture at the airport with all his luggage next to him. He looks teary eyed. A valentines day chocolate heart and rose. His arm in a plaster (what happened here?). Close up of back of her neck with tattooed initials saying G.S. I find some torn pieces of paper in this album. Feeling like a mystery solver, I quickly assemble these pieces to find it is an engagement party invitation (What?). What have I come across? And why is it torn?

What do I do of an item that has been purposely lost? To my eyes, it seems like this album spells a rosy future, what could have gone wrong? Cant they talk about it and fix it? I wish I had a partner like her. I wish I wasn’t lonely. Life will definitely give these both other chances but every flower has a different essence and not every fragrance is our favorite and the favorite cant be forgotten ever, as it doesn’t simply please the senses but our heart.

Yes I am in love! I am in love!

I see him everywhere; something about someone reminds me of him,

If there is nothing to remind, I still recall him, wishing for him to be here, wishing for him to be near.

Those honey brown eyes, quite fascinating, quite unique

Love makes me understand what is the want to take a plunge into lovers’ eyes.

When he is at peace, looking at them brings me certain calm on the inside,

When he looks at me lovingly, they seem to change their color to molten honey,

When he is angry, hot lava spreads in them

Yet all in all, I always hope to remain in their shadow, to have him glance over me all time

Yes, I am in love.. I am in love

His perfectly arched eyebrows and those long tender lashes,

Bird’s beak like nose, so cute, so glistening

The curve of your smile, setting all other curves straight

That majestic beard, so soft, so nice

His turban, quite distinctive in style

His style, quite different, quite cool.

Him, his hug; my home, my peace

Yes, I am in love.. I am in love

Strength to cross oceans hand in hand yet the nervousness over the grip

Hopes to make to our happy ever after yet the uncertainty based on todays’ actions

Wishes for a family of our own but anxious to be first accepted by his’ and make them my own

May god stand by us like he always did, may we keep holding on to the faith

May we make it happy and healthy, may the lord be ever so great

Growing up brings many questions; may we find our answers or realize other questions are wrong

May we not take each other for granted but cherish all the limited time we have got together

Life is beautiful when I am by his side, both of us can tackle any tide

May god give us wisdom and courage to always stick together!

‘Papa, I want to get married’ says now the grown up daughter.

Yes, I am in love.. I am in love

 

(my hand at writing poems, wrote it months back, just thought of sharing:)

writing101: one of my greatest loss

“How is your fever today and the stomach?”

“It’s better, so sweet of you to ask!”

“How was your day? Had fun in your world civilization class?”

“It was actually good, we learnt about Michael Angelo and his creations. The teacher showed a slideshow … (conversation continues)”

“Lets go out tonight, which cuisine do you prefer?”

“All is okay with me as long as I have not imagined something and set my mind on it, you know me!”

The one asking questions is my friend, always concerned, always thinking of me and showering me with his care and love.

The one replying is me relishing his concern, cherishing his attention and presence and imagining a rosier future.

There are certain figures like that in our lives with whom we connect in a special manner and feel the happiest with our own self . We enjoy thunder rains and hot blazing Sun with them. They are so special and each moment with them passes just too quick to hold on to. So much positivity, hope and mutual dreams float around  that one forgets reality and believe in those dreams to be present and the future.

So what happened? Oh just the general… we grew up! and not quite the way we had dreamt of. Today our conversations are more of mere sentences and replies of one word. I really don’t know about his world and because I started feeling so, I shut him out of my world. I don’t know how his day goes or what touches him. He knows nothing about me either. I keep it to myself but I do still want to share everything with him and learn about his days. I try to ask some times, he doesn’t reply much. His reluctance pushes me away, but I do miss him.

We grew up but are still together but not actually together. I lost my friend in him and sometimes I think, he too lost his friend in me which was a reciprocation actually. I don’t know if he misses me? I miss him! I would even be happy to just restart the whole process to be friends again because even though today we are surrounded by only negative vibes when together, there was a day that positive vibes didn’t leave us. Today we end up arguing whenever we talk and our respective ego has become a barrier but I remember days of pure happiness and joy.

I miss our friendship and his companionship. Sometimes I wish to be able to revive time but that cant happen in ‘real’ world so, I wish for us to let go of our negative feelings and embrace the warmth of friendship we feel for each other.  I want to spend time with him and find myself wondering how the hours ticked by so fast and not count the minutes. I want to go for those brunches we used to do and spend the day happily. I miss how I happy I used to feel around him. I miss his smiling face.

Place I would like to be at right now

The place I’d like to be in right now  instead this office chair and finely lit top floor of the building would be a place where I can close my eyes, feel all my worries leaving me one by one and burden on my shoulders lessening. A place where I can smell that familiar fragrance that I know of since I was born, be caressed with those gentle hands and yet feel most protected, cocoon myself into a ball and shut the world out.

I would like to place my head in my mothers lap with her caressing my head and saying reassuring words that I hold on to, drive strength from, I would like to put my head in her small yet spacious lap that feels better than any other pillow and look at the crack of sunlight coming through fully drawn curtained window in my room. My room, it feels like haven of peace to me, it’s decorated in the shades of sunset and evening Sun light completes the whole look. Walls are in shade of dark peach and the ceiling in the shade of a faint peach. Opening my eyes while lying in my mothers lap and seeing this magic of shades and light unfold brings me a certain sense of peace.

I find my bed very comfortable too, not soft like hotel beds and not hard like marble flooring, just good enough for my back to let go of all the built up tension. I close my eyes and feel her hands caress my forehead. I open my eyes and see her  reflection in the mirror doors of my almirah facing my bed. I see our reflections. I see her using my Orange colored pillow as a back rest against the wall behind my bed. I see my orange and brown striped quilt nicely folded at the foot of my bed covered in Orange and yellow polka dots colored bed sheet. I close my eyes and again submerge into the darkness to feel her hand going through my hair and her love giving me warmth through out my body, enough to strengthen me through any battle. I open my eyes.

I look at the clock that till date is waiting to be hung on to the wall. Its an Orange colored clock with silver needles sitting on another small wooden cabinet in my room next to the Brown mahogany bathroom door. It strikes five thirty pm. I am glad more than half the day is gone. I see mess of my earrings, bracelets and bits of paper next to the clock. I promise to tidy the place, not just now. I see silver paint coming off handles of the cabinet underneath the clock. All things wear out, just like us. I close my eyes.

I feel her tiny hands and inhale the smell of lemongrass, her favorite soap. I open my eyes, I see the wall towards my left and glance at the mosaic of our family pictures. Everyone dressed and smiling in their individual frames. I think of the day when number of frames would increase on this wall as more members get added into the family. I smile. I realize they are my strength and the makers of my identity. I don’t know what would I have done without them. Each one with their own fragrance. I close my eyes and hug my mom and push my head into her tummy. I feel completely at peace. I tell her “this is world’s best place for me, no comparison, I love you mom!”.

Change but how much?

It is said that there is nothing that’s perfect in life. A child is not born perfect, a lawyer is not made so just like that and parents don’t emerge as parents even before their kids came on earth. Everything needs to be worked at and so does a relationship of a boyfriend and girlfriend that transforms into fiance and fiancee and then man and wife.

For making it to being man and wife, after you know that you really love the other, requires certain behavioral and mental changes in you. (Physical you might do on your own). You change your attitude and continuously hone yourself to be at your best, not just in front of him but in real.You become the best person that you can. You change your attitude and your ways. You become selfless in decisions and feelings. Your world becomes the other. You derive happiness from them and multiply it and same goes for sorrow and pain. You practice three golden rules of a successful relationship: being humble, always having sweet-speech and forgiveness. With these rules being present and acted upon, fights fail to even creep in.

But what if your partner doesn’t do all that and remains their stubborn self? What if they not only refuse to change but view it as change of character and for them to be leaving what they actually are? What if you partner has a bad anger management problem and a tongue that lashes out almost about anything when angry. What if it feels like adrenaline rush in the moment of anger actually controls them and they like the ‘sense’ power they think they achieve in this phase? Moments of love don’t even enter their head and their art of twisting word and using the words of extreme nature hurt you bad.

How can a person be loving to the bits one day and make you feel like a hate trash can the next. Where is the balance in life? What happened to being calm and alert of negative thoughts in your head and saying NO to them for the sake of US. What happened to try to understand the others perspective instead of loving just yourself. What about letting the other exercise his/her rights on you instead of telling them off in ever manner. In this situation, who should you care for: a broken heart, hurt ego, confused brain, upside down curve of your lips or this mad ache deep in the chest wanting it all to be solved and normalized.

Normalcy is a luxury often understood after its gone!