Luxury of Normalcy!

Normalcy, a luxury? Yes, I believe so. Normalcy is a luxury that is usually looked down on, and cherished when we don’t have it anymore. Just like when someone who loves us, leaves us and then realization of a loss settles in the space that he/she occupied in our lives/ hearts.

I think homes are a luxury when compared to having to live somewhere for more than two weeks (at least). Hotels and resorts sound good and so does travel and other exciting options but, in the end, my toilet pot is the best, and my pillow is just made for my neck.

People who we meet on a normal basis in our daily life and the normal memories we gain with these meetings, strengthen us when we need strength (and weaken us when we feel weak). Because our reference point in any drastic (good or bad) situation is always compared to ‘normal’.

I feel normalcy teaches us ’emotional balance’. Because we know what’s normal thus we can feel excited or sad in a not-normal situation. Normalcy gives a chance to find that middle ground between sadness and excitement and many other emotions. Sometimes even those emotions that we wish not to feel.

With normalcy, I don’t mean being stagnant. Just like our bodies are able to adjust to gradually changing temperatures (and some times drastic), we too evolve in our normalcy. As a toddler, our normal is limited to home and then school, then college and then whatever we choose. We evolve.

I’d say cherish what you have got and where you have got it, for what is normal now is not going to be exact same in future (or at least one can’t guarantee). Rags to riches is always a loved story but riches to rags is painful. We might think others are better off than us in ways important to us, it might even be true, yet there is a certain comfort and perks that our normal brings to us. Let’s cherish these and start working on unread chapter of contentment in our lives. Let’s cherish normalcy, that enables us to feel happy!

In conclusion, everyday, let’s cherish hearts we have found space in, those loved ones’ whose fingers fill the gaps between our fingers, the warmth exuded by our personal VIPs that blanket us to be comfortable in our lives.

Merry Christmas!

 

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Change but how much?

It is said that there is nothing that’s perfect in life. A child is not born perfect, a lawyer is not made so just like that and parents don’t emerge as parents even before their kids came on earth. Everything needs to be worked at and so does a relationship of a boyfriend and girlfriend that transforms into fiance and fiancee and then man and wife.

For making it to being man and wife, after you know that you really love the other, requires certain behavioral and mental changes in you. (Physical you might do on your own). You change your attitude and continuously hone yourself to be at your best, not just in front of him but in real.You become the best person that you can. You change your attitude and your ways. You become selfless in decisions and feelings. Your world becomes the other. You derive happiness from them and multiply it and same goes for sorrow and pain. You practice three golden rules of a successful relationship: being humble, always having sweet-speech and forgiveness. With these rules being present and acted upon, fights fail to even creep in.

But what if your partner doesn’t do all that and remains their stubborn self? What if they not only refuse to change but view it as change of character and for them to be leaving what they actually are? What if you partner has a bad anger management problem and a tongue that lashes out almost about anything when angry. What if it feels like adrenaline rush in the moment of anger actually controls them and they like the ‘sense’ power they think they achieve in this phase? Moments of love don’t even enter their head and their art of twisting word and using the words of extreme nature hurt you bad.

How can a person be loving to the bits one day and make you feel like a hate trash can the next. Where is the balance in life? What happened to being calm and alert of negative thoughts in your head and saying NO to them for the sake of US. What happened to try to understand the others perspective instead of loving just yourself. What about letting the other exercise his/her rights on you instead of telling them off in ever manner. In this situation, who should you care for: a broken heart, hurt ego, confused brain, upside down curve of your lips or this mad ache deep in the chest wanting it all to be solved and normalized.

Normalcy is a luxury often understood after its gone!