Change but how much?

It is said that there is nothing that’s perfect in life. A child is not born perfect, a lawyer is not made so just like that and parents don’t emerge as parents even before their kids came on earth. Everything needs to be worked at and so does a relationship of a boyfriend and girlfriend that transforms into fiance and fiancee and then man and wife.

For making it to being man and wife, after you know that you really love the other, requires certain behavioral and mental changes in you. (Physical you might do on your own). You change your attitude and continuously hone yourself to be at your best, not just in front of him but in real.You become the best person that you can. You change your attitude and your ways. You become selfless in decisions and feelings. Your world becomes the other. You derive happiness from them and multiply it and same goes for sorrow and pain. You practice three golden rules of a successful relationship: being humble, always having sweet-speech and forgiveness. With these rules being present and acted upon, fights fail to even creep in.

But what if your partner doesn’t do all that and remains their stubborn self? What if they not only refuse to change but view it as change of character and for them to be leaving what they actually are? What if you partner has a bad anger management problem and a tongue that lashes out almost about anything when angry. What if it feels like adrenaline rush in the moment of anger actually controls them and they like the ‘sense’ power they think they achieve in this phase? Moments of love don’t even enter their head and their art of twisting word and using the words of extreme nature hurt you bad.

How can a person be loving to the bits one day and make you feel like a hate trash can the next. Where is the balance in life? What happened to being calm and alert of negative thoughts in your head and saying NO to them for the sake of US. What happened to try to understand the others perspective instead of loving just yourself. What about letting the other exercise his/her rights on you instead of telling them off in ever manner. In this situation, who should you care for: a broken heart, hurt ego, confused brain, upside down curve of your lips or this mad ache deep in the chest wanting it all to be solved and normalized.

Normalcy is a luxury often understood after its gone!

Advertisement